Happy Sunday everyone! I want to talk today about the lost art of setting boundaries, and how important it is to protect our peace.
There has never been a more important time to set boundaries than in the year 2025. Let me explain… I was speaking with a client yesterday about how important it is to protect your peace and maintain control of what you allow into your inner world. In a time where we are inundated with constant information, news (often bad), and endless obligations that we never seem to have time to finish… there’s a sense of relief and even power in saying “No.”
This topic all started when I told her that I disabled the News App on my phone. I was tired of seeing all the horrific things that happen on a minute-by-minute basis as it throws information at me round the clock. We then went deeper into what it means to be in control of when we receive information and how we need to take our power back by choosing when and how we accept information. This isn’t just about being in control of our lives, and being an advocate and safeguard for ourselves, but also about learning how to protect our peace and learning how to be still and listen to the needs of our inner selves: which crave balance, harmony and connection.
I know we’ve all been in uncomfortable situations where we feel guilted into doing something that we don’t want to do. And yes, life is full of things we don’t want to do; but being guilted into something is quite different.
There are many different types of boundaries that we need to protect, but I’ll go into the top three boundaries: physical, emotional, and time.
Physical Boundaries are pretty easy to figure out, unless you are someone who doesn’t pick up on body language or social cues. Have you ever been friends with someone who’s a ‘hugger?’ This kind of person often invades your personal space, without caring if they’ve made you uncomfortable or not. Their need to hug overrides your need for space. So, they do what they want, and you comply because you don’t want to confront them about it, or make things awkward. Ok, this isn’t the worst personal boundary to be hijacked by a selfish person, but if we don’t get used to setting boundaries and protecting our space, then we can get into trouble later on down the road.
Emotional Boundaries can be a little harder to navigate because we all have our own inner world where our memories, beliefs and perceptions of the world are held safe and unseen. Our greatest gift to ourselves is keeping this inner world safe from those who can do us harm. Emotional boundaries can be crossed at many different levels and degrees. Some are simply inconvenient, causing us to get annoyed or aggravated, while others go much deeper. One example of not setting emotional boundaries is spending time with someone who disrupts our mental health. I think we’ve all had a friend or loved one who upsets us, makes us depressed, angry or negative about life. We reflect the company we keep… so it’s up to us to spend time with people who are positive and lift us up, not those who leave us feeling hopeless and empty.
When we don’t set healthy emotional boundaries, it’s very easy to cross into a place where emotional manipulation can take over. Emotional manipulation is one of the most insidious types of abuse. I say that because, although physical abuse is horrible, it often comes after the victim has been emotionally manipulated.
What happens when someone crosses a physical and emotional boundary at the same time. Now this can be tricky. This can get to the point where someone uses manipulation to cross a physical boundary, and abuse has free reign. When we allow someone to cross physical and emotional boundaries, we give our power and control to someone else and allow them to take control of our mind and body autonomy, leaving us as a shell of our former self. Our mental, physical and emotional well-being are at stake, and yes our Peace is compromised and even destroyed.
Another boundary I want to discuss is Time. We only have so much time on this earth and it’s important to spend our free time with people who make us feel good about ourselves and about life in general. Saying ‘No’ to going out with a friend isn’t always a reflection of how you feel about them but about setting time aside for yourself and what you need at that moment. Sometimes you have to say ‘No’ because you have a class that you want to take that will help you in your career, or help you focus on your mental or physical health, or bring you a sense of calm, balance and peace. Sometimes we have to say ‘No’ so we can show up later on as a better version of ourselves.
How do you protect your peace? What have you learned about setting boundaries?
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