Does Your Pain Define You?

One thing I learned this week is the importance of breathing. I was working with another Therapist at the Spa and was blown away by the way he incorporated breathwork into his massage. I couldn’t help watching the way he worked throughout the massage, and I made a note to say something to him afterward. I asked him where he learned his techniques, and how relaxed I was just working next to him; he then told me that its almost impossible for people to fall into a deep stretch, especially when trying to release tension in the hips and lower back, without having them breathe through it. The breathing should be deep and audible, like a wave passing through the room. I revisited this idea later in the week when I went to a Community Flow Yoga class. I was running late as usual… so when I arrived there were only two spots left in the front of the room. This was actually pretty cool because I was right in front of the Instructor and could really feel her peaceful energy flow through me. The breath work in yoga is very tangible and really makes you “feel” the importance of breathing and reminds you that breathing is a life force within us. I thing people forgot that during Covid; we were trained to snuff out our breath, and breathe shallow, or hold it in for fear of harming our neighbor. But when we lost our breath, we lost the fire within us, the life-force, the ability to connect our brain and body in one united entity. When we have a disconnect between our brain and body, we become robotic and unthinking. We become distant from any feeling in our body and disassociate mind from matter. Being in a room with a group of people who are so intune to their bodies is a rare gift and I instantly felt welcomed and as though I was a part of something bigger than myself. The Instructor said something pretty profound while we were performing a set of warrior poses, she said to take a look at the conflict in us to fight the bad in us and overcome it with the good. Toward the end of class, during our balancing poses, she reminded us to hold on to our neighbor if we begin to lose our balance and focus; she said we are stronger together, so grab a hold of your neighbor to stay strong. I also had another great encounter with some students at work. They were talking about Chronic pain and how attached we become to our pain. It’s kind of like when we go through life and so many good things can happen to us, and then one bad thing happens; suddenly all the good things are pushed aside and all we see is that one bad thing. What we focus on expands… When we focus on the pain that’s all we see, feel, and experience. We actually associate our chronic pain to something from our past: a sports injury that happened in high school or college, that time we fell or were chasing after a soccerball and tore our ACL; that time we were walking the dog and they took off and caused trauma to our Rotator Cuff, which never properly healed. Whatever the case may be, we associate this chronic pain to a past event that continues to haunt our every day life: that we allow to haunt our every day life. We allow it to stay with us for different reasons… In some cases we’ve become attached to the pain and don’t know how to live without it; it’s become our identity, our friend and constant companion. In other cases we’ve grown attached or accustomed to the response we receive from people, the sympathy, empathy and attention we receive when we have taken on a victim mentality. In other cases, we’ve become complacent in our pain, it’s easier to go to the doctor, have them put a bandaid on it, say they’ll see us again in a few weeks and send us on our way. Working through pain takes time, it requires deep breathing and a reconnection of our brain and body, it takes a mental and emotional shift, it takes switching from a victim mentality to an autonomous and self-sufficient mentality.  With all the Instantaneous and immediate response from technology, we’ve grown accustomed to not having to think or do things for ourselves, this has caused us to forget that we actually have the power to change our lives on our own. That we can do things on our own, help ourselves and actually achieve things without the help of Google, technology devices and doctors who mask the symptoms of a bigger problem.

What chronic pain do you live with, what event do you associate it with, what emotions come with the pain and how do you deal with it on a daily basis? Share your story!