As humans we want to feel a connection with others. We often do this by surrounding ourselves by people like us; people with a similar look or common interest. This common interest or familiar look, however, can sometimes do the opposite as we take other peoples experiences and insert ourselves in their lives as an opportunity to change them. Knowing where we end and others begin is the key to controlling our own actions and our own lives. When we know too much about other peoples lives we often insert ourselves where we don’t belong and try to control that person and change them, instead of connecting with them as fellow human beings. As individuals we are responsible for protecting our bubble, or what some might refer to as the three feet around us. Likewise, we are also called to respect other peoples bubbles, and rather than projecting our thoughts, feelings and emotions onto others we need to take a step back and look inward. The majority of human beings look at others and judge. We see what it is about others that isn’t like us, and we try and change the thing in them that we don’t understand or like. The majority of humans react to others rather than looking inward and working on ourselves. We take our reaction to others as a way to blame them and let ourselves off the hook. Rather than reacting to others we need to ask ourselves, ‘what is it about how they’re acting that causes this response in me?’ or ask ourselves, ‘how or why are they causing me to feel the way I feel?’ “Our hearts must become a sea of love, our minds a river of detachment.” By detaching from others and taking ownership over our own lives, we can actually gain peoples trust because only then can we look on them with an open mind and without judgement; we can look on them with fresh eyes and an understanding spirit. When we don’t take ownership of our own lives, and instead immerse ourselves in others lives, we end up reacting to them, blaming them and projecting our feelings onto them. This causes a disconnect as we try to change others rather than accepting them as they are. “The ability to know where we end and others begin is a pathway to better connection.” Do you have an experience where this has happened in your life? Do you try to control situations or people? Share your story!
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